


Light My Fire

by shadowcatfan (pressdbtwnpages)



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-08-18
Updated: 2002-08-18
Packaged: 2017-10-04 01:56:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pressdbtwnpages/pseuds/shadowcatfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay, it's been awhile since I've posted, and this story has weird story to it, so bear with me for a sec. This is a sequel to stories by Natalia (<a href="http://blkqueenphoenix.livejournal.com/profile"><img/></a><a href="http://blkqueenphoenix.livejournal.com/"><b>blkqueenphoenix</b></a>) called <a href="http://www.geocities.com/blackqueenphoenix/alliwant.html">All I Want</a> and <a href="http://www.geocities.com/blackqueenphoenix/alliwanted.html">All I Wanted</a>. Anyway, Natalia wrote a rough draft of this first part, and I fell in love with it and started playing, and then she gave it to me. So here it is!</p>
    </blockquote>





	Light My Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, it's been awhile since I've posted, and this story has weird story to it, so bear with me for a sec. This is a sequel to stories by Natalia ([](http://blkqueenphoenix.livejournal.com/profile)[**blkqueenphoenix**](http://blkqueenphoenix.livejournal.com/)) called [All I Want](http://www.geocities.com/blackqueenphoenix/alliwant.html) and [All I Wanted](http://www.geocities.com/blackqueenphoenix/alliwanted.html). Anyway, Natalia wrote a rough draft of this first part, and I fell in love with it and started playing, and then she gave it to me. So here it is!

It had been two years since St. John had switched sides. Two years since The Mutant Registration Act was passed by the President, then swatted back down by Congress.

Life for the X-Men had been relatively quiet. Magneto's mind had been  
wiped clean by Professor Xavier after a particularly brutal attack. He'd been put into a mental hospital shortly after that.

Mystique picked up the torch, and tried to lead the Brotherhood. She had managed to mangle Magneto's goals, in a neverending riegn of violence and brutality. Still, many followed her. St. John had too, for a time, until he got sick of the violence, the blood, and Mystique's near insane quest to kill all of humanity.

John returned to New York unsure of what to do now that he had become a free agent, of sorts. He was at a small diner in the heart of the city, where to his surprise Kitty and Jubilee showed up. The owner, a man named Harry, seemed to know them.

"Hey... quiet down you two... you're scaring my customers away!" He joked after an elderly couple left.

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "If it wasn't for us, or at least her," Jubilee pointed at Kitty, "... you'd be outta business."

"I'll be right back." Kitty said getting up.

John panicked as she headed straight towards him. He shrank into the  
booth... wondering how she'd seen him.

"John?" She questioned, glancing behind her to make sure Jubilee wasn't watching her. He looked up and smiled.

"In the flesh?" Kitty sat down next to him.

"It's good to see you." She hugged him tightly. "I've worried about you."

"Yeah?.. It's good to see you, too." He said, disengaging her arms from around his neck. "How is everything?"

"Okay, different." She said. "We all miss you, you know. You didn't have to leave."

"Maybe I did... to grow up." He laughed. "I'd never have seen half the things I've seen if I hadn't gone with Magneto."

Kitty shook her head. "We saw things too, bad things." She shuddered. "You could have gone to the Professor, could have talked to him."

"Don't worry about it Kit-Kat. It's in the past," John shrugged, trying to slight her concern, her wisdom.

"Are you going back to the mansion?"

"I don't know. I thought about it." He took a better look at Kitty. She didn't look like the same girl he'd last seen. She looked much more mature, in some ways even as old as St. John himself felt. She was prettier than he remembered her, she'd filled out, the angles about her were softer. "You got a boyfriend, Kitty?"

She laughed, and John almost wondered if there was a bitter edge to her chuckle. "Nah."

"Why not?"

"I had a few... none worked out." Kity said dismissively.

"I bet you went out with Bobby, huh?" St. John was surprised at how  
jealous he was at the thought.

She laughed again. "He was pretty hard to turn down... but, that was a long, long time ago. What about you, John? Anyone special in your life?"

"Mystique for a while... until Sabretooth decided he didn't want to share his woman anymore."

"Mystique, huh?" Kitty laughed. "I guess, there are worse choices."

"How is everyone?" John asked, deciding to change the subject. Something about the way Kitty had phrased her last remark made St. John want to avoid further talk of relationships.

"Good. Most of us aren't living at the mansion anymore." She said. "The school was moved to Massachusetts, and the X-Men are kind of taking a breather. You should go back though.The Professor knows you're in town, and I'm sure he'd like to talk to you."

"I..."

"Kitty? What're you doing over here?" Jubilee asked, running over. She didn't even look at John.

Kitty waved a hand towards John.

"Oh my god!" Jubilee exclaimed, hugging him.

"Good to see you too, Jubes." John greeted her with a laugh.

"What are you doing here?" She exclaimed. St. John shrugged.

"Didn't know what to do after I defected. I just sort of ended-up here."

"Same ole Johnny!" Jubilee declared, though St. John couldn't see what she based that statement on. "So you're comin' home right? I mean, you felt drawn to this area. That's where you belong. With us. At home." Jubilee emphasized the 'at home' as if it was a point of contention.

"Jubes, the mansion isn't home for everyone," Kitty chided.

"Yes. It is. You're just too stubborn to admit that you need anyone."

"Not true. I freely admit that I need the Professor, and the others. But the mansion is not, nor will it ever be, home." Kitty spoke defiantly, before turning to St. John, "Don't mind Jubilee, she has trouble seeing the world as it is, instead of through the Professor's rose colored glasses."

John laughed heartily, understanding exactly what she meant. He stopped laughing suddenly, 'How would Kitty know what that feels like?'

"What's wrong J-man?" Jubilee asked. "Did Kitty scare you? She does  
that."

"Did I scare you John? I'm sorry, I didn't mean too," Kitty apologized sheepishly, staring at her hands.

"No, Kitty didn't scare me. I just, thought of something."

"Oh."

"Okay."

"So, what are you girls doing in this rather sleazy part of town?" John asked, trying to change the awkward subject.

"Sleazy and cheap are synonymous in New York City," Kitty explained.

"Kitty refuses to live at the mansion, or take the Professor's money.  
So an apartment up the street is all she can afford," Jubilee explained.

"You make it sound like I'm poverty-stricken," Kitty complained.

"You practically are. Look around at your life." Jubilee snapped.

"Is this gonna turn into another fight about whether or not I live at  
the mansion? 'Cause if it is, stop right now. I like my life Jubes, I like being self-sufficent, and I like my privacy," Kitty explained.

"See? Privacy. You're refusing to live at the mansion so you can  
isolate your self from the world!" Jubilee exclaimed.

"Jubes?" Kitty said gently, "I know you do this 'cause you care. But  
I'm alright, I'm doing okay on my own. And, for the record, I'm not  
isolating myself from the world. I'm living in it. You guys are the ones who stay as far from the world as you can," Kitty's voice was still gentle.

"That isn't what I meant by 'the world'," Jubilee pouted.

"I know it wasn't, but maybe that's part of the problem. Let's stop  
this now. We're completely boring John."

"Yeah. Some friends we are. We run into a long-lost friend, and what do we do? Completely ignore him, and wallow in our own problems!" Jubilee exclaimed in exasperation.

"Your problems, Jubes. But you are right, sorry Johnny," Kitty  
apologized.

"It's cool, really. I'm just totally lost. I feel like I missed a  
really big part of the puzzle," John explained.

"You kinda did," Jubilee observed.

"Where ya staying John?" Kitty asked.

"Nowhere. Warm doorways," John admitted.

"Not anymore. You're staying with me," Kitty insisted.

"At least until you get up the nerve to come back-"

"Jubes," Kitty said warningly. "No arguing. You're coming home with  
me."

"You really thought I was gonna pass up a chance at a shower, and a  
legal place to sleep?" John grinned. "If you insist."

"We insist!" Jubilee exclaimed.

******

John looked around Kitty's humble, one room apartment. "I can't stay here."

"Of course you can. The shower's hot, the bed's soft,"

"Jubilee's leaving," Kitty shooed her friend out the door. "I'll call you tomorrow," she assured Jubilee as the door clinked shut.

"Kitty, I really can't stay," John apologized.

"I know it's small, but I can share. I'm willing to share. My apartment, my vote. You're staying," Kitty was absolutely insistant.

"It's useless to argue?" John asked.

"Completely. Now, make yourself at home," Kitty offered, sitting on the floor, and patting the ground next to her.

"Thanks," John accepted the offered 'seat'. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, anything."

"What happened Kitty? Why did you change? What changed?" John asked meeting her eyes. Kitty stared at the ground, and drew a pattern on the dusty concrete.

"Anything but that," Kitty whispered.

"Okay, I'm sorry," John began to stand.

"Johnny stop. Sit back down. I'll tell you, I'll try to tell you what  
happened," Kitty offered.

"You don't have to, really," John assured her.

"We really have grown up you know," Kitty told him. "You probably can't see it. Jubes, well she hides it well, and me. I've always had a knack for turning the hurt into an aura of shyness and mystery."

"I know things change Kit."

"Yeah, well, we didn't. I guess growing up we always just sort of figured we'd be like Scott and Jean, staying in the mansion. Forever. Sometimes it skips a generation, the Dream I mean. We've all worked so hard, given up so much. But Scott and Jean, the Profesor I guess they can see the good it's doing," Kitty met John's eyes, they seemed so hurt, "but I can't see it. They'll always be my friends, my family, but, I can't live in the dream. I sacrificed too much, too early."

"What? What did you give up that hurt so much?" John asked.

"I know it's been a long time, but, have you ever been able to say no to the Professor? 'Cause I couldn't and that's why I had to leave, to get control of my life."

"I don't follow, sorry Kitty," John apologized. Kitty brushed him off.

"Remember Pitor? He was my first, I guess my only, love. We had some bad times, his sister got sick, the Legacy Virus. When she died he was angry, hurt, destructive. The Professor came to me. He was worried about Pitor destroying the Dream. He asked me to end it with Pitor, get Pitor out of the mansion away from me, away from all of us. I couldn't say no." Kitty paused and wiped tears from her eyes. "Anyway, Pitor became an Alcolyte, and after that the Professor founded Mass Acad, and I finally got angry and left. I guess that's pretty much it."

"Kit, I've always thought the Dream was too big, too ambitious. We were children indoctrinated into saving the world. You aren't the only one who felt overwhelmed, look at how I handled my piece of the dream," John drew his friend into a hug.

"I feel guilty. I want to help, it's a good goal the Professor has, it's just too much." Kitty rose and looked out the window into the grimy, gray city. "I had to leave. I had to get enough distance from the Professor to be able to say 'no'."

"I get it Kitty," St. John came up behind her. "Of all people I understand. Scott and Jean, they've always been able to say 'no'. They respect the Professor, but they don't idolize him. We were raised to see Xavier as a god. Our omniscent dictator, father figure, idol, savior. He saved us all. How could we ever say 'no' to God?"

"Yeah. That's it exactly," Kitty leaned back into St. John's arms.

"We are Xavier's prodigal children aren't we?"

"I guess so," John was silent for a while, breathing in Kitty's scent and enjoying the feel of her in his arms. "Kit?" He whispered.

"Yes Johnny?" She asked turning in his arms and looking up at him.

"I, I'm really glad you found me," He told her and leaned closer.

"Me too," Kitty's lips met St. John's. They embraced each other tightly, willing each other to stay close. As the kiss ended, Kitty said fiercely, "Don't you dare leave again." Her eyes were bright with tears.

"I won't Kitten, promise," St. John was surprised at how quickly he knew he had to stay. With her. "Kit? I love you." Kitty caught her breath.

"I love you too, Johnny. God I missed you," She rested her head on his chest.

"You were the only way I made it through the nights with Mystique," St. John confessed.

They stood silently, entertwined and staring at the city, for a long time.

The light lengthened into shadow, and eventually St. John's stomache  
groweled. Kitty laughed and pressed her hand against his stomach.

"I'll make dinner," she suggested, and walked across the room to turn on the lights.

"Wait. Where do you keep the candles?" St. John asked. Kitty laughed softly and grinned. She opened the pantry and handed him a battered box full of half used candles.

"There're some more in the bathroom." As John began to arrange candles, Kitty browsed through her cupboards. "Hmm."

"Hmm, what Kitten?" St. John asked.

"How do you feel about macaroni and cheese?" Kitty asked.

"Sounds great," John turned and smiled at her in the candlelight.

They ate macaroni out of Kitty's one pot, surrounded by candles carefully controlled by St. John.

"This is, nice," Kitty sighed contentedly.

"Yeah, I can't remember the last time I felt this way," John admitted.

"Me either."

They cleaned the pot and utensils side by side in Kitty's sink. John wrapped a soappy arm around Kitty's neck. She nuzzled his hand gently, and then more urgently.

"Johnny," she whispered. He took her in his arms, kissing her urgently, passionately. He'd never loved anyone like this. They moved across Kitty's apartment, never letting go of each other.

******

When they had both caught their breath, John rolled off of Kitty and felt her cuddle close to him before falling into an exhausted sleep.

******

Kitty woke up smiling. She felt St. John's arm pressed against her waist, and hoped last night hadn't been a mistake.

St. John opened his eyes moments later to find Kitty watching him.

"Hey there," He grinned rubbing her bare back. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hi." She relaxed and rested her head against his upper arm.

"Kit, you weren't thinking that, last night wasn't a mistake. You know that don't you?" John asked firmly.

"I was scared. I know now," She assured him. John leaned over to kiss her.

"I told you last night, I'm not going anywhere Kitten. Not again. I'm never going to leave you alone, never," he assured her as he brushed the hair off her face. "I just wish I knew what to do now. About the Dream, I mean. I wish I knew how to help the cause, without compromising myself."

"Johnny!" Kitty exclaimed, "I have to show you something!" Kitty got up quickly and walked across te apartment to her desk. St. John couldn't help grinning at the view. She fumbled through a desk drawer. "I've been saving this, trying to figure out what to do," she explained as she handed St. John an opened letter and snuggled back down next to him.

_Dear Ms. Pryde,  
As you may be aware, The Massachucetts Acadamy is undergoing some  
renovations in policy. It is my wish to separate the Dream from our young students. The world is hard enough without the additional burden to save the world.  
In speaking with Professor Xavier, your name was mentioned as a young mutant who may be interested in a different brand of mutant education. Please consider my offer of a job as a computer/math teacher as well as faculty counselor.  
Sincerely,  
Emma G. Frost  
P.S- Katherine, I'm aware that there may be bad blood between us, but I truly respect you and would love to have you at Mass. Acad. No Pressure._

The letter was dated a week earlier.

"Interesting," St. John commented.

"Isn't it? Anyway, I've been seriously considering it, and, I bet Emma could find a place for you too." Kitty smiled at her lover.

"If anyone knows how hard it is to be on Xavier's side, but not actually with Xavier, it'd be Emma," St. John agreed.

"Yeah. So? Should I call her and tell her we're interested?" Kitty asked, reassured by St. John's earlier promises of commitment.

"I guess so. I mean, we can always change our minds," St. John agreed.


End file.
